


walk you home

by replayongs



Series: replay [2]
Category: NCT (Band), New kidd (Band), UNB (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, SM rookies - Freeform, SR15B - Freeform, Yuta misses Hansol, there aren’t really any other tags oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 01:19:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15522909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/replayongs/pseuds/replayongs
Summary: when hansol left sr15b, everyone looked to yuta, awaiting his reaction.he was heartbroken.— named after nct dream’s “walk you home” —





	walk you home

When news broke out that Hansol left SR15B to join _The Unit_ , all eyes turned to Yuta. He could only stare in shock, mouth agape. Taeyong had reached out to his friend, trying to comfort him, however, Yuta was not in the mood. He had slapped the older's hand away, storming off.

He never liked to show emotions in front of anyone, except for Hansol. But he wasn't there. No, he left him. Yuta had been wondering why Hansol ignored his texts; why Hansol had left the group chat; why Hansol wasn't there—now it all made sense.

He curled up in the corner of his dorm, knees pulled to his chest, head buried in his knees—and he sobbed. He cried his heart out, shoulders shaking with each heartbroken sob.

This was a day Yuta tried to forget.

Over the months that went by, he slowly grew accustomed to not having Hansol around. He got rid of the photos of him and them together, he ignored the comments and posts tagged "#yusol", he shut down anyone who brought up Hansol—he tried to get rid of Hansol from his life. It worked, but just barely.

Yuta forced his heart to yearn for another, for the sweet Dong Sicheng. He loved being around the younger, he loved cuddling him, babying him, and he knew Sicheng liked it too.

Sicheng was very different from Hansol.

Hansol was much taller than Yuta, whereas Sicheng is only a couple of centimetres taller than him. Hansol had a baby face akin to EXO's ex-member, Luhan, his eyes large like a doe, face narrow and lips red. He had a pleasant smile, a deep voice, bright gaze, and a soft touch. His aura dripped with confidence and dominance, yet he was caring and gentle. Especially with Yuta.

They'd share shirts, jumpers, and a beanie that Yuta still wears to this day. He'd let Yuta cuddle up to his side, fingers entwined as they walked—Hansol making sure Yuta would not trip when balancing along a low wall.

Yuta often dreams about those soft hands and gentle touch, about his bright smile and deep voice—he'd often wake up with eyes puffy and brimming with tears.

Yuta had almost forgotten that Hansol participated on _The Unit_. On this day, the show was announcing the winners—the members who would join the group UNB. NCT were gathered in the living room of their dorms, cuddling together on the couch, watching said show. Yuta was curled up between Sicheng and Taeyong, barely paying attention—that is, until a certain tall now-raven-haired male's name was announced.

Yuta's head snapped up, eyes bulging out of his sockets, jaw slackened.

"H-Hansol...?" His voice cracked, and Sicheng glanced at him worriedly. He knew of how close the two were, and he knew that the topic of Ji Hansol was off-limits.

"Yuta, it's okay," Taeyong whispered, sensing the other male's distress. Once again, the leader made a move to wrap his arm around the Japanese male's shoulders—but he shied away, slipping from the couch and hurrying to his room. The door slammed shut, and nobody heard anything else from Yuta for the rest of the night.

Nor the next few days. It was pretty lucky that 127 did not have anything scheduled for the next couple of weeks. So it was easier for Yuta to stay cooped up in his room with no questions asked.

It had been a few days since UNB debuted. Yuta decided to scroll through the V-Live app in search of the group. His fingers trembled as he did so, teeth tugging at his lower lip. He found the group's page, and he tapped on it.

There was already a video up. Against his better judgement, Yuta tapped on the video.

It started, and there stood all nine members—including Hansol, standing tall and proudly to the left. Yuta felt his lip wobble, tears filling his eyes. The boys all had their turns introducing themselves and having a chat with the viewers, then it was Hansol's turn. Yuta held his breath, relishing in his deep voice that he missed oh so much.

By the end of the live, Yuta was once again a sobbing mess. 

The end of April rolled past, and NCT crossed paths with UNB at a concert. The members who were part of SR15B swarmed the group, pretty much tackling Hansol to the ground. Hansol hugged them back, laughing heartily as the NCT members congratulated him on debuting. 

The only member who did not go swarm Hansol was Yuta. Even Jungwoo and Lucas did, and they weren't as close with him, as they only became rookies in April of 2017, and Hansol left in October.

Once the members stood, giving Hansol space, he introduced his fellow UNB members. They were all polite, bright and friendly. There was one who hung himself all over Hansol's arm, keeping close to his side.

Yuta seethed, clenching his fists, nails biting into his soft palms. Hansol raised his gaze, resting upon Yuta who stood away from the group. Yuta froze, eyes widening.

"Hey, Yuta." He called, and the male hanging off his arm stared at Yuta, his own gaze dark. "How've you been?" 

Yuta stayed silent, his gaze flickering between Hansol and the other male. He shook his head quickly, his light brown hair swishing around his face. He briskly walked off, not answering Hansol.

Taeyong called out to him, racing after him after hurriedly apologising to Hansol. Hansol stared after Yuta's retreating figure.

Once back at the dorms, Yuta locked himself in the bathroom. Taeyong banged on the door, begging for him to come out. Yuta chose to ignore everyone banging on the door, opting instead to sob in the corner.

Another week passed, and Yuta scrolled through his text conversations on his phone until he was at the very bottom—at his and Hansol's conversation. It was left untouched since September last year, when Hansol began to ignore his texts.

Yuta inhaled deeply, tapping on the conversation. He scrolled through his messages, exhaling shakily.

 

_Okay c u soon_

**17/09/17**

 

_Hansol, where are you?_

_Dude_

_Answer me_

**18/09/17**

read

 

_Hansol_

_Please, I miss you_

**19/09/17**

read

_Why won't you answer??_

_I know you're reading this messages!_

**21/09/17**

read

_Hansol please_

_I'm worried about you_

_Please text me back_

_Or answer my calls_

_Please_

**22/09/17**

read

_Did I do something wrong?_

_Why are you ignoring me?_

**23/09/17**

read

_You left the sr16b group chat_

_Why?_

_Where the fuck are you?_

_I miss you..._

**25/09/17**

read

_Hey_

**26/09/17**

read

_Hansol please answer_

_I'm begging you_

_**30/09/17** _

read

_You're ignoring all of us_

_What did we do_

_Where are you?_

**03/10/17**

read

_CAN YOU AT LEAST TELL ME WHY YOU'RE IGNORING ME??_

**04/10/17**

read

_I see now._

_You left._

_You joined the Unit._

_Why didn't you tell us?_

_Why didn't you tell me?_

**10/10/17**

read

_Fine. If that's how you want to be._

_Did these past four years mean nothing to you?_

_Cause they meant the world to me._

_Goodbye, Hansol._

**14/10/17**

read

 

Yuta wiped at his eyes, feeling his heart crack into little splinters. He never did understand why Hansol gave him the cold shoulder. With quivering fingers, he typed out a text. Once typed, his finger hovered over the send button, his head screaming no, no more heartbreak, but his heart whispering yes, make ends meet.

So he sent it.

 

_Hey hyung_

_Congratulations on debuting in UNB_

_I'm proud of you_

**29/05/18**

delivered

 

Yuta shut his phone screen off, relaxing back into his bed, resting his phone on his chest. He closed his eyes, fresh tears trickling down his cheeks.

After a few minutes of wallowing in silence, the phone buzzed. Yuta inhaled sharply, lifting the phone up, its bright screen blurred thanks to his tears.

It was from Hansol. He bolted upright quickly, unlocking the phone and opening the iMessage app.

 

_Thank you_

**29/05/28**

 

That...that was all? Yuta hung his head, his heart sinking. He shouldn't hope for much. But then, the phone buzzed again. He looked at the screen. It buzzed again.

 

_I've been waiting for you to text me_

_I miss you_

**29/05/18**

 

Yuta felt his heart pump in his throat, his chest unbelievably tight. He reread those last two texts numerous times, over and over.

Hansol missed him?

The hurriedly typed in a reply.

 

_You miss me...?_

**29/05/18**

delivered

read

 

The grey bubble with three dots popped up, signalling that Hansol was typing. The phone buzzed, and a grey message appeared.

 

_I want to meet up with you_

_Tomorrow, if you're free?_

**29/05/18**

 

Yuta covered his mouth with his hand, choking back a cry. He blinked back his tears, typing back.

 

_Yes. I'm free._

**29/05/18**

read

 

_Good_

_I'll c u tomorrow then_

_At our cafe_

**29/05/18**

 

He still remembered their cafe. Hansol wanted to meet with him. Yuta smiled to himself, licking his salty tears off his lips.

The following day, Yuta found himself sitting at his favourite cafe, face hidden by a black dust mask and fingers toying with themselves on the tabletop. He thought he looked decent, considering he had to put on a heap of makeup to conceal the red cheeks and heavy grey bags. He wore his favourite pair of black skinny jeans and white pullover hoodie. His light brown hair peeked out from under a black beanie—the one he hand Hansol once shared.

"Yuta,"

Yuta's head slowly raised, heart hammering against his rib cage. There's too Hansol, tall, and handsome. The white lights of the cafe reflected off his black hair, his body adorned in a simple black and white t-shirt, a denim jacket over the top, and black skinny jeans with small tears hugging his long legs.

Yuta felt his cheeks flush behind his mask as Hansol took a seat across from him. He rested his arms on the tale, and it took everything in Yuta to not reach across the table to take Hansol's large hands in his.

"That's our beanie," Hansol breathed, eyes trained on the headpiece atop of Yuta's head. Yuta looked down, nodding slowly. Hansol reached across the table, fingertips brushing against Yuta's clothed cheek.

Yuta flinched back, eyes flying wide. Hansol frowned, reaching further forwards to grab at the mask, tugging it down Yuta's face. 

 

"I want to see your face." He said, and Yuta's heart shuddered painfully. Hansol studied his face, sighing softly. "Have you not been sleeping well? SM really like to push you to your limits, don't they? They don't know when enough is enough—"

"It's not because of schedules." Yuta interrupted, clenching his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms. Hansol took note of Yuta's hands, placing his large, warm hand over the top. Yuta yanked his hand back like Hansol had burned him.

"Yuta, why are you acting like this? And what do you mean it's not because of that? Why then?" Hansol asked all at once, his voice steadily rising. A few heads turned, but paid no heed to the two males. Yuta inhaled shakily, trying to stop tears from prickling his eyes yet again.

"It's been eight months since you last spoke to me, Hansol," Yuta mumbled, gaze trained on the table—he knew Hansol was staring at his face. "I haven't been sleeping recently because of..." he trailed off, exhaling slowly. "...because of you."

Hansol's eyes widened, and he eyed Yuta warily. "What the hell do you mean 'because of me'?" Yuta grit his teeth, trying to keep his pent up emotions at bay. 

"You've been on my mind. The only thing on my mind."

"Why?" Hansol asked impatiently. Yuta glared at him.

"You want to know 'why', hyung?" He mocked the honorific, palms flat on the table. Hansol seemed taken aback by this sudden aggression. "The last text you sent me was on the seventeenth of September, 2017. I sent you a barrage of texts, inquiring to as why you were gone, why you left the group chat, why you were ignoring us...ignoring me." He took a deep breath, no where near finished. "You read all the messages, but did not reply. My last message for you was in October, after you joined _The Unit_. I tried to give up on you, like the past four years never happened, like you never existed, because thinking about you hurt." Hansol frowned, reaching out to Yuta, but the younger held a hand up, not finished.

"To find out you left SR15B to go on _The Unit_ without telling me fucking hurt, Hansol. I thought you trusted me—yet all I got was ignored and hurt by you." He exhaled, breath trembling. "I watched The Unit the day you debuted into UNB. I thought I had gotten over you, but I hadn't. All the heartbreak crashed into me like a wave, and I was broken once again." Yuta's voice was quivering now, tears brimming his already red and puffy eyes.

"I finally see you in person at the Dream Concert, and I couldn't even say hi to you, I was so shocked, to be perfectly honest. But when you looked to me, one of your members was hanging off you like he owned you," Yuta lowered his voice. "You replaced me that quickly, huh?"

Hansol pressed his lips into a thin line. "What about you and Sicheng, huh?" Hansol crossed his arms, and Yuta bit his lip. "Don't think I never saw the subtle touches, you trying to kiss him, clinging onto him—even when I was still in SR16B."

Yuta glared. "I was handsy with everyone. But mostly with you. After you left, I tried to make myself move on from you. Because you clearly didn't want me in your life," His voice cracked. "But Sicheng wasn't you." He said softly, the tears now running freely down his delicate cheeks.

Hansol frowned, reaching out to Yuta. He cupped the shorter male's cheeks in his warm hands, and Yuta did not shy away this time. He gently wiped away Yuta's tears as he hiccupped.

"I'm sorry, Yuta," Hansol whispered, his voice laced with sorrow and regret. The sob Yuta had been choking on finally broke from his throat. "I really am." 

"You have moved on, haven't you?" Yuta whimpered, his lips quivering. Hansol fell silent, and that was all the confirmation Yuta needed. He pushed Hansol's hands away, abruptly standing to his feet. Hansol stood quickly, grabbing for Yuta's sleeve. 

"Yuta—"

"No." Yuta once again interrupted him, holding his hand up to silence the taller. He snatched his arm away from Hansol, staring at the ground. "Don't let my feelings for you hold you back and keep you in the past. If you've moved on, I'm not needed."

"Yuta, no, that's not what I want." Hansol pleaded, and Yuta shook his head.

"Goodbye, Hansol." Yuta walked out of the cafe, his heart completely shattering.

Once again, at the dorms, Yuta locked himself in the bathroom, sobbing his heart out in the shower. He curled up on the tiled floor, naked, letting the scalding water wash over him. 

A week passed, and another V-Live from UNB was posted. Yuta watched it, despite his heart begging him not to.

It was just Hansol—and the male who clung to Hansol at the concert. Yuta sighed deeply, finger hovering over the "x" button to exit the V-Live. 

"Oh, Yuta, if you're watching this, I have something to show you."

Yuta froze, glancing down at the screen. Hansol was staring at the camera, his bandmate frowning at him. Hansol held up a sign, holding it in front of the camera.

Yuta's heart thrummed. The text was written in his mother tongue of Japanese.

 

_I never gave up on you._

_I love you._

 

Yuta cried, clutching his phone to his chest, sobbing as his heart soared.

He laid like that for what felt like hours when his phone buzzed.

 

_Just remember, I could never move on from you._

_I never meant to hurt you. I love you, Nakamoto Yuta._

 

**Author's Note:**

> WELL okay this took me forever and made me miserable but ey happy ending even tho it was planned to be a sad angsty ending oof.
> 
> We need more yusol fics cause those two were literally the best OTP after Jaeyong and Johnten. I don't mind yuwin, but I love yusol more :3


End file.
